4 Lessons From My Late 20’s

Today I want to share the greatest lessons I learned during my Saturn Return. Saturn return is a concept in astrology where around age ~27-30 everything in your life that’s not aligned falls apart in a really messy yet divine way.

Whether you subscribe to the meaning that astrology assigns these cycles or not, I know that for me, the last 3 years have pushed my back up against the wall so many times that I can now say I genuinely look forward to being humbled – it’s the only way I get closer to the freedom of the truth.

Here’s a few things I’ll always take with me thanks to this time in my life:

1. It’s OK to be the bad guy in someone else’s story. Us humans sometimes need a bad guy. A bad guy to fight against so that they keep moving forward — until they’re ready to take ownership for their part / until moving forward for the love of themselves instead of as an act of rebellion, is actually enough. Remember that you’ve also needed others to be the bad guy in yours.
2. Low self-esteem is something to be cautious of both in yourself and others. Because people who feel powerless care to engage in a power struggle. There’s something to prove externally because the knowing isn’t there within, thus you’re led to look outwards for something others can’t give; not through recognition, and not through competition. All the external praise and validation (one side) or “winning” (the flip side) in the world won’t change a thing. Dysfunctional relationships are build on the basis of self esteem; when one subconsciously ‘needs’ another for either of these reasons.
3. Actually building that self-esteem is the opposite of what we think it looks like. It involves boring, monotonous, sometimes painful consistency, adversity and responsibility. It can be modeled, but not given.
4. Self-esteem is the true path away from codependency, because codependency cannot exist without competition / a power struggle, even if that power struggle looks covert: like people pleasing, fixing, or overprotecting.