# S1E09 – NOT AN ANNOYING SELF-HELP EPISODE – how to actually take action and get unstuck through experimentation & play

Published March 6, 2020

Here’s the episode copy and pasted – let me know anything you’d like to change – this episode continues to be a top performer 🙂 Remember how in Episode 5 we learned that 2020 is a year of completion — the year to wrap up old stories and patterns, and close the door on anything that is holding us back from our next level? Today’s episode is an honest yet daringly playful guide to HOW you can let go of fear and start your new story.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or frustrated, like you’re standing in your own way but just can’t take the first step, this is for you. Katharine Hargreaves, founder of GodX and author of The Art of the Experiment, teaches us (with full-on gusto) that so much of our fear is actually just blocked excitement. That there’s a part of us just dying to run and jump into the unknown even if we find a million reasons not to.

She explains her method of challenging yourself to simply take action by (a) starting with the smallest first step possible, and (b) telling people you trust to hold you accountable. She explains why pressuring yourself to be the “problem solver” is really just a mechanism of survival that we got stuck in along the way; that we should care a lot more about getting to KNOW the problem first rather than judging how well we employ a solution.

We need to learn how to hold ourselves in the mystery… experimentation is valuable play, and if we could stop taking ourselves so seriously, we’d do it a lot more.

Sometimes the solution you’re seeking looks a lot different than originally expected, but you’ll never know until you act.

I don’t like change. There, I said it. But, I’m wise enough to know that change is healthy… and more than anything, impossible to avoid.  Because it’s something that I struggle with and have to constantly challenge myself about, I feel like this is an episode you guys will also derive a ton of value from. I left Kat’s interview feeling so inspired, so renewed… that’s why this ep is called “not an annoying self-help episode,” because she actually explains things in a way where they make a ton of sense and are followed by tangible steps. It’s not “love yourself and face your fears” it’s “I know you’re terrified and I am too but here’s the exact first step you’re going to take and how you’ll be held accountable.”

Social Rituals for Paradigm Shifts

Kat believes that all action starts with noticing (ahem, awareness) how we perceive our reality and the language we use to define our existence. Let’s face it, even if we don’t like change, we can’t seem to stop ourselves from seeking and daydreaming. Today we talk about fear, play, challenging ourselves, community rituals, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, and all things self affirming. How does our identity impact our ability to make lasting change in our lives?

What’s the Juice?

• A wicked problem is defined as something that’s not easily solved. A lot of us have several “wicked” problems in our lives. Our best bet is to unwind the tangles around the stories we tell ourselves about these problems. Instead of thinking we already know the story or know the solution, how can we get to know more about the problem?

    •  When we come up against deep fear, it can actually be concealing deep excitement

    •  The Internet has decentralized information and this can be a positive for those looking to learn something new or connect with someone on the other side of the world. I don’t think a 5 year plan exists anymore (I had no idea I was going to become an herbalist)

    •  When our childhood wounds run us, we’re unconscious — do the hard work of healing first, then expand in the present moment

    •   Change is possible, but what does change and transformation require

    ◦    Inclusion of others – telling your circle to hold you accountable

    ◦    breaking your goal down into the smallest first step possible and doing it within 24 hours


    •    When we shift our stories, we shift our paradigm — at times we don’t even see the stories we’re telling ourselves because we’re so tangled up in them … busy living the story.

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“Let’s say you want to create a workshop – once you have the idea/experiment/prototype, the very first step or version, you need to challenge yourself to take action.

Identify where you usually give yourself an escape hatch… maybe this is the point where you usually get uncomfortable and shut down. So, once you have your experiment, to avoid that, you need to make it public or tell loved ones you trust.

If you just keep talking about it, it’s never going to happen – our brain thinks it’s happening when we talk about it, so we feel a false sense of safety because we’re not in that situation of risk.

If you are someone who is talking about something but not doing it, my invitation to you is do it in the next 24 hours. Take that first little step towards learning in. My guess is that your story about what’s not possible is going to come up right away. You’re going to have tons of reasons why you’re not good enough or don’t have the tools.

But okay? What’s next? What are you going to do to challenge the idea that you CAN’T?”

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“In the process of experimentation, we start to find the jewel we needed, the information we’re looking for. And sometimes, it looks different than we originally expected The answer is in the action but we’ll never know until we act.”

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“You are responsible for showing up fully

You’re NOT responsible for the outcome

We don’t need to be impressive

We don’t need to be more successful

We need to be ourselves.”

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GodX: A Breakthrough Mastermind
Consciously Connected Joshua Tree Retreat 
Katharine’s Personal IG 
Katharine’s essays on transformation Read 
The Art of the Experiment 

STAY JUICY,

OLIVIA