Published March 29, 2017 I have a #storytime for you guys about how powerful emotions can be in terms of physical pain. I’m going to start off with a little background on Nick and I. First of all, we are EXTREMELY different. Although we grew up in the same city, we did so on opposite sides. I was sheltered in my safe suburban neighborhood where the only people I saw were little Italian nonnas! Yet Nick’s neighborhood (and thus, his worldview) was unpredictable, unsafe, and often violent. There are pros and cons to both experiences, and we have SO many theories on what each situation does to the human psyche. While I never had to fear for my life, hurt someone, or be hurt myself – I am NOT aware enough of my surroundings and I’m highly out of touch with my primal instincts. And while Nick is scarred in many ways from the crazy things that happened in that world… he is incredibly capable of protecting himself and holding his own. He doesn’t back down. He is smart as a whip, quick on his feet. The bond he shares with his brothers (blood or not) is like nothing I’ve ever seen before, because he quite literally had to trust them with his life – over and over again. I learn so much from his primal brain and his protective nature. Yet at times, the PTSD-esque fear that has never left his being holds the both of us back from new experiences. As you can imagine, traveling is tough for him. A man who learned to be suspicious of everything and everyone must quickly adjust to & trust new surroundings and people. Which brings me to the present: since we’ve been in Costa Rica, we’ve met some amazing local friends. Yet every time I’d ask Nick if we could invite them to our place, he would shut down, retreat into old fears, and go into protection mode. Many of these were rational of course – it’s not wise to have strangers know where you’re staying. But after 3+ weeks of getting to know a select few individuals, I (with my instinct to trust + nurture) was yearning to welcome them into our home and cook up some comida. As of 3 days ago, he was still unsure. That day, I began having INTENSE shoulder pain! Nothing unusual happened and I was not injured. Swimming, walking, even sleeping hurt. I looked up the emotional factor and of course, it relates to ‘carrying a burden on your shoulders.’ I didn’t feel stressed, so I didn’t understand what this meant. Last night we finally had our beautiful friend Josue over for dinner. As I sat on the couch with him, laughing and learning Spanish, I realized that I was no longer painfully aware of my posture. I was able to put pressure on my left side. The pain was disappearing!! I knew in that moment my pain was from carrying the burden of Nick’s worries on my shoulders. It kills me when I see him avoiding beneficial experiences & friendships due to his past. I put a lot of the responsibility to help heal that on myself – and of course it affects me too because we are a couple who has experiences (or not!) together. When he let go of the fear, so did I. I was quite literally + physically, feeling his burden. I woke up this morning completely pain free. And while I know there are SO many factors that go into physical pain and illness, emotional blockages and burdens are one of them. This emotional stagnation weighs on us & slows down the flow of our innate healing energy (Qi or Prana in Eastern medicine). “You have to feel it to heal it” – the more you acknowledge and move past/release these negative emotions and experiences, the more you free up that energy to do its healing, restoring, clean-up work!